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Why am I here...?

I was just... trembling.
Cold, anxious, and insecure.

I can't embrace her, who is more real than any memory.
All I can do is picture her as she slowly fades away.

She was my reason for living.
And yet.
She is slowly fading away.

Her form is becoming hazy.
I can no longer even conjure a clear image of her.

What Demon Lord, what... King of Magic.
Unable to even get back the one woman I love, what am I.

Lonely. Painful. Sad.
Lonely.
Lonely.

It's cold... If the world is this cold, I don't need it...

Loss, powerlessness, despair, loneliness... wanting to ease them even a little, I grip the reins tightly.
Because it felt like clinging to something, being rocked on the horse's back... eased my sorrow and grief somewhat.

Whether it knew my state or not, the horse began walking west... in the direction out of the forest.
Did the horse itself grow tired of the forest and want to go west... or did some part of my heart command it to do so... I have no idea.
I don't know... but in any case, my horse was heading west.
I had no will to stop it, nor the energy to do so.